Unleash the press gangs!

Yep, that's right: colleges that receive federal* American taxpayers' money may no longer exclude military recruiters. Now, the military's elite search-and-recruit units will be able to stalk America's campuses (Campi perhaps? That just looks wrong.), snagging unsuspecting students from the Lover's Lane... and maybe even the student development center... and forcing them to fight in Iraq. It will be chaos as students are rounded up into huge transport aircraft to be shipped directly to a gruelling seventeen month training camp where they will be turned into robot-like killing machines, their hearts and souls surgically removed with a rusty can opener! Parents will be frantically searching for their missing offspring, only to find that all the new recruits look the same and only respond to the name 'Private'! Yes, all is lost now that the recruiters are on campus!

Seriously, why were recruiters barred from some campuses... campi... campususus... ?
Oh, some people don't like some of our policies... like 'don't ask/don't tell... yeah, that one's a real doozie. It makes life such hell. Others think that what we do is too dangerous. What a crappy attitude! Dangerous is what life will be like for everyone should we, for some reason, go away.

I see a serious disconnect here: most people expect college students to make decisions for themselves. I guess that the decision to defend this nation and her allies is one that college students just can't be trusted with in the minds of some.

*There is no such thing as federal money. Federal money is YOUR money that gets spent by the Federal Government.