EXTRA: U.S. GOV'T FOLLOWS IMAO PLAN FOR WORLD PEACE!

IT has finally happened! That's right, IT! ...for real this time!
IMAO's all over it, of course. All of you do it with me now: don your shirts, you know the ones I mean, and look up at the moon... now wave goodbye! I call it a good start. Wait, this must be an excavation explosion for the Air Force's secret moon base... shoot, now I have to kill you all!

Speaking of excavations, prayers are answered...
EDIT: ONE miner made it out, it seems. For this, I am still thankful. Better one than none.